In the Water
by bespectacledfanwarrior
Summary: An elven Druid, a secret revealed and a balance tipped. A grieving elf unwinds the web of lies that holds Camelot together and unknowingly begins a story...a story which will become a legend which will be remembered for a thousand years. Magic reveal. AU after series 2 episode 11. RE-EDITED.
1. Prologue

**A/N: Expect everything from angst to humour. AU BEYOND SERIES 2 EPISODE 11!**

**IMPORTANT****: BY THE WAY, THE PROLOGUE IS FULL OF STUPIDITY BUT IT SURVES ITS PURPOSE WELL ENOUGH SO I KEPT IT PRETTY MUCH THE SAME AS IT WAS BEFORE. MOST OF THE OTHER CHAPTERS HAVE BEEN CHANGED OR LENGTHENED IN A RE-EDIT DUE TO ME BEING 14 AND NOT REALLY UP TO STANDARD WHEN I FIRST WROTE THIS!**

**Disclaimer (APPLIES TO ALL CHAPTERS): I do not own Merlin or any of the BBC's characters, I am not making any profit out of this story and it is purely fan-based. Thank you.**

"The unread story is not a story; it is little black marks on wood pulp. The reader, reading it, makes it live: a live thing, a story." - Ursula K. Le Guin

Prologue

Merlin woke to blinding December sunlight streaming in through the window in his room. He groaned and rolled over. He felt terrible. A headache was banging on the back of his skull; his eyelids were stinging with the effort to keep them open; his throat was burning; his skin was warm and clammy and he was soaked in cold sweat.

He lay on his back watching the sun rise slowly in the icy blue sky. His shaky breaths misted in front of his face.

He sat up in silence, drawing his thin blankets around his shoulders and attempting to summon the strength to leave his warm bed behind and venture out to work.

"One… two… three…" he whispered then stood quickly. He swayed as the world spun and pressed down on his head, purple dots dancing before his vision. They faded away and the room slotted back into place. He threw on his blue shirt, shook his hair out of his eyes, slipped on some boots and staggered down the stone staircase.

Gaius was stood around his work-bench almost feverishly making some kind of potion; he was also looking extremely pale.

"Gaius, what are you doing? Are you ok?" Merlin asked hoarsely, leaning forward, before recoiling backwards at the repulsive smell the cauldron was emitting.

"Not you as well!" Gaius snapped, albeit rather weakly. "Half of Camelot has come over with flu over night!"

"I'll help you; I've seen you make the cure for one of the villagers before." Merlin offered.

"No! If you _had_been listening you'd know that each concoction is unique to the patient's age, height, weight and sex. It requires all of my concentration and I was up before dawn trying to find the recipe!" Merlin, who had first-hand experience in dealing his great uncle's filing system, winced at the thought of searching for one of his many books in the dark.

"Don't bother making one for me, I'll do with just a headache cure. I've got to go to Arthur now," Merlin said and pulled open a cupboard door, dragging his feet behind him and falling over a chair in the process.

**X~X~X~X**

"Merlin, you're late," Arthur said in a voice that still managed to sound commanding though it was greatly weakened.

Prince Arthur was lying on his bed surrounded by warm blankets. Merlin examined his face curiously. He looked tired and wan. His hair stuck up at odd angles and framed his white face oddly.

"Sorry sire," Merlin croaked absently while putting the rest of his effort into staying stood up.

"I suppose Gaius has told you-"

"-That you feel almost as bad as I do? Yes he has." Merlin cut in faintly and collapsed into a chair, wiping moisture off his forehead. Arthur frowned.

"You mean you're ill too? Merlin you_idiot_, why'd you come into work then? Never mind, just sit there and talk to me, I'm bored."

"What do you want me to talk about?" Merlin sighed.

"I don't know… anything!" The prince moaned and wriggled deeper into his blankets. Merlin sighed yet again… it was going to be a long day.

After talking for almost all morning non-stop, Merlin had found out a number of things about Arthur. For one, he absolutely detested plums, but really liked sprouts and that he favoured brunettes ("Ooooooh, you mean Gwen?") over blondes and couldn't stand the sight of anyone blonde for a week after Vivienne. Merlin had then pointed out that that he _was _blonde and Arthur had flopped backwards onto his pillows and proclaimed dramatically:

"Well, that's how I got over it. I mean, imagine, never being able to look at my own reflection ever again…" Merlin had snorted with laughter whilst trying to roll his eyes – it didn't work out too well.

Around midday, Gaius arrived looking flustered and stressed, insisting they both take yet more remedies. Each one tasted viler than the previous and appeared to have no affect at all. Merlin took his with a grimace and peered apprehensively at the pale green sludge stuck to the bottom of the bottle. He threw back his head and closed his eyes, raising it to his mouth… not noticing the contents flash briefly to a creamy shade of lilac.

Immediately he began to feel drowsy and swayed slightly where he sat. He cast a longing glance at the soft white pillows on Arthur's bed before slumping backwards into the seat and a deep slumber.

**X~X~X~X**

Gaius sighed as he swept back into his quarters. As an enthusiastic physician, he wished people would appreciate the intricate art involved in the brewing of his potions, rather than complain about the colour or texture. Morgana, Gwen and Merlin had taken theirs in good grace out of respect for their old friend (or in Merlin's case in fear of what Gaius would do to him if he didn't). Arthur and Uther, however, complained so profusely he'd just left the potion on their bedside tables, trusting they would drink it if they knew what was good for them. By the time he'd reached the women he was so aggravated he'd left them unceremoniously before he had checked the after-effects.

Realising that he had no idea whether the cure would work or not, he approached his boiling pot dubiously. A large slimy bubble grew and burst with a pop. Gaius jumped backwards in alarm and then chuckled at his own paranoia. He pulled himself together and ladled a generous portion of the gloopy medicine into a wooden bowl. He held it with two hands, staring at it, and then he drank. It slid down like a mud-slide and settled in the back of his throat. It felt a little like alcohol. That burning welcomed warmth and feeling of total contentment. He drifted over to his bed, tripping on the edge of his table, wondering vaguely if there had always been blue feathered chickens on the ceiling. Almost as soon as he sat on the hard mattress, his eyes rolled into the back of his head. He fell into unconsciousness.

**A/N: Ok yeah. Boring much? It will get better I promise. I forgot to tell you before that the only pairings are Arthur/Gwen and Merlin/Freya, you'll have****to bear with me on those though - I'm not a romance-y kind of person. Reviews are always welcome…**


	2. Chapter One

**A/N: Enjoy :D**

"Wisdom consists of the anticipation of consequences." - Norman Cousins

Chapter One – The Perception of Wisdom

Merlin attempted to open his stinging eyelids. A sliver of gold flooded between his eyelashes; they parted slightly before invisible weights dragged them down. The flickering yellow light wobbled and died away again.

Ouch! _What was that?_

The second slap was harder.

"_Mer_lin, come on idiot, now isn't the time to be having a lie in!" Arthur's exasperated face swam before him. He must have fallen asleep. That was funny; he didn't remember feeling tired, just ill mainly. Arthur moved away, clearing his sight. His jaw dropped.

He was lying in a highly embellished room. It looked as though the owner had made every possible attempt to make it appear cosy and inviting. It was, in fact, large and cold. The draughty stone blocks it was built out of were crumbling in places like a once majestic castle falling to ruins, dusty and abandoned. A howling wind could be heard blowing back through the chimney and whipping around the castle.

The walls were decorated with dusty threadbare tapestries, telling the story of a thousand years of history. The bare stone in the gaps between them was plastered in shawls and rugs. A wide window told him that it was late evening. He could see the sun setting in the distance, an egg yolk orange against a steely sky, wisps of silver clouds floating overhead. Merlin sat up to see more around him. He started to look closer at his surroundings.

The colour scheme was red and gold, even the rugs lying on the floor were that colour. A great roaring fire burned in the grate - the heart of the room. Morgana and Gwen sat huddled next to each other, sinking into a cushy sofa and sharing a rich ruby red blanket.

Gwen looked shy and awkward – with good reason too. The king was sat stiffly next to her, trying to put as much distance between them as possible. He shifted uncomfortably and his eyes were darting round the room at an alarming pace.

Arthur was pacing up and down. His rhythmic footsteps echoed calmingly but kicked up clouds musty choking dust. Gaius stood examining a strange setup in the centre of the floor. It was covered in soft sheepskin rugs and six stone cauldrons were placed methodically in a ring with a large one in the middle.

Merlin shot up in a flash. "Where are we? What's going on?"

"Noticed anything yet?" Morgana asked, looking up. The blank look on his face said it all. Arthur rolled his eyes.

"You wouldn't!"

"Arthur this is serious, we're trapped in here and we don't know what to do, I'm almost certain sorcery is involved." Morgana snapped, adding the last bit for Uther's benefit, enjoying watching his blood pressure rise.

"Merlin," she rounded on him. "We arrived in this room after falling asleep – thank you Gaius – the door is locked and we do not know where we are. We only woke up about five minutes ago. What I was implying a minute ago is that none of us are ill anymore. Now can you, Arthur, please stop being so _childish!_This is serious; we need to know how we got here."

Morgana sat back down, suitably mollified, and flicked her auburn hair over her shoulder. Before anyone could react, however, a shout came from Gaius.

"Sire, come and see this!" The king, his son and Morgana strode across the room, shortly followed by Merlin and Gwen, the latter a little hesitantly. When they approached the cauldron to which Gaius was pointing they recoiled in horror.

A pale female face was peering out of the gently rippling water in the largest black cauldron.

**X~X~X~X~X**

Lilly desperately tried to appear impassive as she felt panic burning the back of her throat. She must be cool and efficient, this wasn't about her, it was about them. She knew she must look bizarre, her face swimming in the pot like the full moon reflecting in the storm-tossed moat surrounding her. Her hair wafted around her in the wind (Gods she hated the Isle of the Blessed), a Druid symbol was tattooed down the side of her left cheek-bone and her piercing green eyes penetrated their souls.

She observed the scene unfold in her scrying pool, appearing to be nothing more than mildly amused. Blind fear flitted across King Uther's face and he reached for his belt, only to discover his sword was missing. Gwen - a lowly serving maid possessing the utmost importance in the yet-to-be legend – screamed and stepped backwards in alarm. Merlin and Morgana's reactions were the most curious, for they did not appear to be startled but merely wary. Gaius maintained a calm exterior though she could see something unrecognizable bubbling beneath the surface. Arthur just looked confused and powerless.

"I'm sorry for inconveniencing you like this and bringing you here, I can assure you no time will pass while you remain in the room. You will not be missed back in Camelot. I brought you here by interfering with the remedy Gaius made. The illness was just the backlash from the time-freezing spell I also used. I could have used a spell to create the same effect but if the magic is ingested it will bring you here faster. An interesting paradox, don't you think? So I'm sorry Gaius but it was necessary." Uther was simply furious. He swelled up in rage and his face coloured purple.

"I demand you to release me this instant sorceress, or I will hunt you down and have you executed!" Lilly laughed mockingly, her eyes flashing gold. How infuriating she was finding this man and she had only just met him.

"My king, while you dwell in my castle you cannot harm me or any other people around you. My home is a peaceful place, unlike your wretched blood-stained kingdom, and I do not wish for that to change. I am a good person; I have never killed another human and never will do. I control whether you stay here or not. I do not seek revenge or your fall from power. I'm only attempting to open your eyes to the ways of my people. Let me help you."

Uther's complexion drained of colour completely this time. Opposite him, Merlin and Morgana's eyes widened and they took on an excited air. Gaius shot them a warning look.

"I will not have you warping my mind to your evil will, witch!" Their sovereign shot back.

Lilly closed her eyes to keep her emotions in check. She trailed her moonlit fingers in a spiral over the icy water. The silent magic travelled in ripples, waves lapping against the stone edges of the basin. The six faces transformed once again into nothing more than the refection of the velvet cloud speckled sky.

Lilly was alone.

**X~X~X~X~X**

Merlin took two steps away from Uther. He'd never seen a man look this livid before. Morgana bent over and whispered in Merlin's ear.

"It looks like he's going to explode doesn't it." Merlin clasped a hand over his mouth to stifle his silent laughter. He straightened back up just in time to catch the King say, "I will not permit this sorceress to manipulate me in such a way. She must be eradicated." Morgana flared up at once. She straightened her back and looked Uther straight in the eye.

"Well it doesn't seem that that is possible now does it? She said herself she isn't going to harm us. It can't hurt to listen, surely. We don't really have a choice. Just accept that, please." She pleaded. Uther opened his mouth to retaliate but Arthur finally stepped in. "Father, she's right. Can we just get this over with?" Uther knew he'd lost. He stood in shell-shocked silence then…a slow reluctant nod.

Merlin sat down on the cream sheepskin rug nearest to him and dragged a smaller cauldron closer to him, peering inside. The cool stone was a shocking contrast to the warm comfortable mixture of fur and cushions surrounding and enveloping him. Arthur surprised him by choosing to sit next to him. While there was the combined bustle of everyone finding somewhere to sit and Uther expressing further outrage, Arthur leaned over and whispered, "What do you think about all of this then?" Merlin looked at him in disbelief.

"And you've cared about what I think since when?"

"Don't be an idiot Merlin; I know you're not unfamiliar with magic. I haven't forgotten that your friend Will was a sorcerer." Merlin swallowed uncomfortably, the subject a little too close to home for his liking. He nodded.

"Well?" Arthur prompted

"I think…well I'm interested to see what she has to say." Merlin said then continued carefully. "What if there's more than one side to magic. You know, like a good side to counter the evil…" Arthur stared at him as though unable to work out what to think of him. Merlin shifted under his gaze.

"You know Merlin…I never know what to make of you. You act like a complete idiot most of the time and then every so often you spout something intriguing like that; it makes me wonder what's going through your head." Arthur mused. Merlin shrugged and crossed his legs, looking around him. Everyone was settled and Morgana cleared her throat and spoke uncertainly into the cauldron.

"We're ready to here what you have to say."

Merlin couldn't help but feel a sense of foreboding. She was a druid so she'd know about the legends of Emrys. But what did she know about him? More importantly though…

…how much would she tell the others?

**As usual, please review. I love you all.**


	3. Chapter Two

**A/N: Thank you everyone who has reviewed and put me on story alert or favourites, I love you all.**

**This is one of the chapters I have changed loads so if you are an old ****reader who is re-reading READ THIS!**

"The tragic element of a character is always intriguing I think." - Greg Kinnear

Chapter2 – Lilly the Last

Lilly brushed her fingertips across the surface of the scrying pool. Morgana's face appeared in the water, distorted in waves of ripples. She spoke.

"We're ready to hear what you have to say."

Those fools think they can just let her say her piece and then they will be on their way, she thought. How wrong they are; she will change their minds yet. Her mother had always told her to be strong and persistent. One well chosen sentence had the power to show a man the truth. Lilly felt the old grief, still ready to surge to the surface of her mind, struggling in its cage. Anger blinded her for a moment and tears grew beneath her eyelids. She brushed them aside.

The ever-present self loathing she had felt for almost five years overwhelmed her. She slowly sank to the ground clutching fruitlessly at the walls of the scrying pool. Her nails broke as she scratched at the rough stone and her skin tore. Blood dribbled down her hands. She didn't notice. No tears bubbled from her eyes now; her face was hard and her anger aimed was at her own weakness.

She was scared. She was scared of Uther, what he had done, how even thinking about him made her remember her blood-family. She was scared of herself, how her fear would stop her from be able to complete her quest. She had seen into the future and she knew some of her role in the events that were soon to be. Of course most of her future was as shrouded in mist as it had always been. What she did know was that what she was doing here would topple the precarious power balance between magic and swords and cast the whole of Albion into chaos. She could only hope that it would emerge a better place.

The harsh winds ensnared her unbound hair and it caught on her lips and in the wetness on her face. She reached up to brush it away and smeared blood across her cheekbones. It didn't matter. How could anything ever be important again? They were dead. Her mother's words were dead.

"_There is always hope, remember that my Lilly; even the stone cold souls of kings can be swayed. The hearts of men are weak and idealistic, they do not see the balance of the world, the precarious scales holding life and death even; one blind action can tip the scales and the world will fall into the dark. Uther was not always like these men, he did not hate us, he still does not really, he is afraid. You know what happened with the High Priestess and Arthur's birth. Nimueh was a good woman once too, before the Purge, but the bitter taste of life made her rot and decay until there was but a whisper of the person she once was left. I pray this will never happen to you my daughter. I have seen your future, I trust you to set destiny back on its path…"_

Lilly swallowed. She did not deserve to be trusted; her entire species was gone because she had been _trusted_.

"_My daughter, I trust you to lead the rest of the elf clan to safety."_

"_But what about you mother?"_

"_I will halt them for as long as I can. GO!"_

_And so she had fled. Fled and failed._

Lilly traced the faint outline of a pointed ear with her fingertips. She was the only creature in Albion with that heritage now. This was partially Uther's fault…if only he hadn't sent his hunting party a little further north than usual.

She couldn't delay any longer; they'd been waiting for her while she had lost herself in the land of memories and regrets. Her mother's words may be dead - Gods know, she felt dead as well – but as the last elf left in the west it was her duty now despite her own emotions.

Ignoring the bitter wind sweeping round her and chilling her beyond the skin, she rose and quickly washed water over her face from the pool, cleaning her skin. Her many layers of blue silk flowed behind her like the cascading waves of a stream. Her light shoes made of finely stitched leather made no sound as she hurried down the ruins of a stone corridor. She brushed away smoky threads of spider's webs before they caught and tangled in her brunette hair. Then finally she took a black bag, which looked as though it had been thrown carelessly on the floor in a rush, the cool leather biting her skin. She uttered a quick spell and the wind was sucked towards her and whipped round her tiny frame. She vanished.

X~X~X~X~X

The silence in the room was an uncomfortable one. Uther looked around and gazed in faked interest at everything in his path of sight apart from any of his companions. Morgana, on the other hand, was glaring at his back and making his plight to ignore her almost impossible.Merlin could practically taste the disapproval and tension in the air. Just as he and Morgana were at home here as much as they could ever be – in a room full of mystery and magic – Uther was a fish out of water. His power was nothing here and he was receiving neither the fear nor the respect he'd grown used to in Camelot.

Gwen excused herself and walked over to Merlin, Arthur moved away to talk to Morgana. Gwen smiled warmly and picked up a large burgundy cushion.

"Let's go and sit by the fire again, we may have to wait a while before she comes back," she said quietly. Merlin nodded and took hold of a similar cushion, feeling the silk slide beneath his fingers. A strange happiness mingled with his fear as he sat by the fire. It spread throughout him like the comfortable glow of the roaring flames. Gwen ignored the seats and sat on the floor, facing to the right of the fire. Merlin sat cross-legged next to her resting his hands on his lap.

"So," she began, "What do you think?"

"What do _you_ think?"

"I think that Uther is going to be rather closed minded," she decided. A grin flickered briefly across Merlin's face.

"Of course, but what about the magic? You helped me and Morgana with the druid boy, Mordred," he prompted.

"Morgana scared me with how much she was risking for a child she'd only just met, but I don't have an actual opinion." Merlin stayed quiet for a few moments, ingesting this information. Then he spoke in a vulnerable voice.

"I'm scared Gwen, how much does she know about us all?" Gwen's pressed her lips a little tighter together but did not reply, did not even question what he might have to hide. Other than the obvious there was nothing really to say.

X~X~X~X~X

The air stirred slightly and everyone sat up a little straighter, anticipating the inevitable. Lilly was back. Merlin saw every muscle in Arthur's body tense. He was attempting to hide it but Merlin could see he was frightened. Suddenly the fire and all the candles were extinguished. They were thrown into complete darkness for a second before life breathed and spluttered back into them.

Merlin glanced around, wearing a bemused frown. His eyes swept over the circle and landed on Lilly. He suddenly seemed unable to breathe. She was not the tall, beautiful and yet terrible women he had imagined her to be. She looked as if she was only just a woman, twenty at the most. It's seemed almost impossible that the girl in front of him possessed the unique and powerful magic he could sense radiating from her. Her only unusual feature was her pointed ears, hair tucked behind them to purposefully highlight their presence.

She was beautiful though, it was undeniable, but it seemed as though as little as a raised voice would break her. She was tiny, her long auburn hair and wide blue eyes seemed almost too big for her, as if all of her features except those had shrunk. Light silks and delicate materials clothed her. They were torn, stained with blood and dirt, and were not nearly warm enough for the bitter weather. Merlin felt a strange, almost primitive instinct, telling him to guide her to the fire and wrap a cloak around her shoulders. He blinked and tried to it. She may be dangerous to Arthur…that made her an enemy.

She stood at the head of the circle, watching the others rise warily to their feet and back away from her.

"Shall we begin?"

Morgana stood, she towered over Lilly's tiny form, dignity rolled off of her in waves. She drew the attention of everyone in the room with that one gesture of power.

"Who are you? What species are you? Why are you doing this? Why us?"

A crease appeared between Lilly's eyebrows. She stood in silence gazing at each of them in turn, dragging her eyes over them as though she was pulling a great weight. Goosebumps tingled on Merlin's skin. He heard the gasps of shock from each of the room's occupants as gold tendrils of magic snaked upwards slowly from the floor and round their legs. He closed his eyes as it travelled further upwards and the air compressed around his head moving downwards until he felt as if he was wrapped in a tight confining blanket. He couldn't breathe, he tried to open his eyes but found he couldn't and he began to panic, the darkness was crushing him. Lilly…she was killing him…

**A/N: I don't really have to say it anymore do I? It'll only take a moment, please review. I love you.**


	4. Chapter Three

**A/N: A short but important chapter, but I think that's okay considering how humongously long the next chapter is! :D **

"You will be judged in years to come by how you responded to genocide on your watch." - Nicholas D. Kristof

Chapter Three– The Slaughter

Sharp bitter wind washed the terrifying sensation away and Merlin opened his eyes. Ancient stone walls surrounded him. It was the Isle of the Blessed. His friends and Uther materialised the same way he had. They appeared shocked and fearful, dragging in deep shaky breaths of oxygen, trying to dispel the same dizziness he also felt.

"This is the Isle of the Blessed!" Lilly's voice cried over the roaring wind and the crashing lake. She was stood with her arms stretched outwards on the stone steps. She wearing the most truthful expression Merlin had seen on her. Determined anger bewitched her face.

"You want to know me? Then so be it, we may as well begin here! I will show you how Uther Pendragon committed genocide. He slaughtered my entire race! I was there! I watched as his men murdered my Elven clan! My family! My friends! People I didn't even know but still felt their deaths because every single time an elf died you ripped my life away from me, _my king! _This is the truth. This is what you do."

One reality merged into another, the sky changed from marbled black and grey into blue fading to gold and purple; the ghostly slit of a moon was just visible in the sky - a peaceful autumn dusk. They were stood on a dry mud and gravel road leading from a dense forest into an open clearing. A small village of wooden huts thriving with life stood in the centre. Fires crackled with women stirring steaming metal pots over them. Families walked in and out of the trees. Children ran shrieking with joy between huts.

The evening air was punctuated with men shouting and barking dogs. An arrow flew past Merlin's right ear and embedded itself into a tree trunk, narrowly missing a little boy. Merlin yelped and leapt backwards.

"It's just memory, nothing here can hurt you," Lilly reminded him bitterly.

The adults and children old enough to understand froze like scared deer. The children's laughter echoed, horribly twisted and eerie now. Slowly even that died away as they realised something was wrong. A little girl turned to an older woman. "Mother what's happening." The older elf froze, unable to admit the truth to such an innocent young voice, that they were surely doomed. Sobbing, she gathered her daughter up in her arms as their fate descended on them. "Mother, mother! You're scaring me…" The child began to cry and her mother held her tighter to her breast.

Soldiers bearing the Pendragon crest burst through the tree line, foot soldiers pulling back straining dogs and wielding flaming torches. Another shower of arrows cut through the air and people began to run frantically as the villagers began to drop wave by wave. Yet more men came. The most talented of the clan tried to fight with magic but even with such a powerful arsenal at their command they were hopelessly outnumbered. The mother clutching her child was slain by an arrow. She dropped to the ground and her daughter knelt over her, a soldier stood over her and she looked up to him and their eyes met. Young and old, naïve and brutal. His raised sword faltered. A bearded higher ranking officer spoke roughly to him, "Kill the bitch, she's just magic scum." The sword slashed down. Merlin screwed up his eyes and turned his head into his shoulder but he couldn't forget her terrified scream.

An old woman rushed through the curtains of silk in the doorway of her hut and stood just outside, a girl of about fifteen joined her – Lilly.

The old woman spoke hurriedly to her, Lilly nodded, face drawn with despair. Two men joined the woman and they began to join the fight, hurling great balls of raw magical power at the knights. Lilly ran between the people trying to gather as many of them together as possible and lead them towards the shadowed trees. The same officer who had ordered the little girl's deaths waved his troops over to regroup for an attack on the escapees. The monsters approached them from all sides, they were surrounded. They charged forwards, their swords raised. She squeezed her eyes shut, fear freezing her limbs and preventing her from casting the spell that was already on her lips.

The screams died away and she was still alive. She slowly lifted her eyelids, she was the only one left, the bodies littered the ground. A large hand roughly gripped her arm and it dragged her over to the bearded commander who was obviously in charge. His merciless face was twisted into a sadistic smirk.

"Keep her alive, let her go to spread the tale what has happened here. She will infect everyone who dares to follow the Druids with her fear."

Laughing, the soldiers retreated into the forest. Lilly stumbled between the destroyed huts and stopped in the very centre. She lifted her head to look and the now black sky, only the moon and the stars illuminating her face. Her tear tracks shimmered.

Her breathing became fast and shallow as she looked around at her ruined life, her chest rising and falling rapidly. She threw her head back and fell to knees, screaming with rage and grief. Her eyes lit up gold. Power pulsed from her in waves. Trees and huts burst into flames, ashes fell from the sky. Everything: the forest floor, the bodies, the trees and the huts burned in the embodiment of her agony. Strong winds whipped round the tortured landscape as she cried. Slowly the chaos died down. There was nothing left except ashes. Lilly fell sideways, unconscious.

Merlin turned his head away and walked away from the others. His silent tears fell unnoticed.

**A/N: I still love you all! I hope this was as enjoyable to read as it was to write. Well maybe not enjoyable…certainly satisfying for the sadistic writers' desire to really get your teeth into some character layering. Well, now you know Lilly. Please review! :D Extra virtual cookies for an award too! **


	5. Chapter Four

**A/N: FOR FOLLOWERS WHO ARE LOOKING AT THIS AND FEELING CONFUSED! I AM RE-WRITING. I WILL BE UPLOADING A NEW CHAPTER EVERY DAY UP UNTIL I GET TO THE POINT I WAS AT BEFORE. GO BACK AND READ THE WHOLE THING AGAIN OR THIS WILL NOT MAKE SENSE. TRUST ME, IT'S A LOT BETTER NOW!**

**This chapter is almost entirely new content**

…**and is named after my favourite poem :D :D**

"Between the idea  
And the reality  
Between the motion  
And the act  
Falls the Shadow" – T. S. Eliot

Chapter Four – The Idea and the Reality

Large clear blue eyes reflected the last golden tendrils of Lilly's magic as it dissipated into nothingness; the eyelids then closed briefly in relief as the uncomfortable sensation faded. The shutters over his sight revealed pale, almost unhealthy, smooth skin. The pupils then floated over pools of white in a journey to seek out his other companions.

Gwen and Morgana were clutching each other in a tight comforting embrace, tears running over both pale and dark skin. Arthur looked distracted, almost haunted, like a man who had seen that level of destruction many times before, some caused by his own hand. Uther appeared mainly unaffected, like Gaius, but he now regarded Lilly with more trepidation than ever.

Merlin sat down heavily, his mind teeming with images of the elves fleeing and falling…burning…screaming. Slowly the trees and huts faded away and were replaced with memories of Ealdor, his mother and Will. He imagined what it would be like if it had been his village, his whole world, erased from existence in just one evening. What would he do?

Gaius stood behind Merlin and placed a hand on his shoulder. Merlin looked up sadly at his uncle and mentor. Gaius patted him on the arm then moved over to Gwen with a sweeping of blue robes. He gently extracted her from Morgana and sat her down next to Arthur who glanced at his father nervously before wrapping and arm around her.

Merlin watched, fascinated, as a change came over Morgana. She wiped her tears away with the corner of her fur wrap and straightened her back. Her sharp green eyes turned hard and cold and her mouth set into a thin line as she glared at Uther. She took a step forwards and the tension in the room thickened as if it were tangible. Her gaze never faltered as their eyes met, they clashed like ice and fire.

"Why did you order you men to attack those people?" She demanded. "They were peaceful!"

Uther stepped forwards.

"All magic is dangerous and I will _not_ allow it within Camelot's borders!" Uther retorted shortly. Morgana looked furious, she was still shaking from the aftermath of Lilly's memories and her fists were clenched into balls.

"So you slaughtered them." She stated coldly.

"Morgana," Uther ran a hand other his face tiredly, weary of his many arguments with his surrogate daughter. "I have to be firm with these people, they think in strange ways, it is the only message they understand."

"You didn't have to kill them! You could have warned them and told them to leave, not that they were doing any harm anyway!" Morgana shrieked. Uther's stony grey eyes regarded the outraged woman dangerously.

"It is not your place to tell me how to protect my own kingdom!" He rumbled. Morgana stood silent for a moment.

"You have no power over me here Uther Pendragon." Then she did the most un-ladylike thing Merlin had ever seen her do; she spat at Uther's feet and stalked past him.

Uther grabbed hold of her shoulders, his face crimson with rage, and shook her roughly.

"How dare you!" He shouted furiously, Morgana tried to wrench herself free but he just held her tighter.

"You…"

Merlin's head snapped round as he glimpsed a wisp of gold out of the corner of his eye. Gold threads snaked off Lilly's hips as she materialised. She muttered a spell and Morgana and Uther flew apart. They hurtled through the air and hit opposite stone walls with a muffled thump and an exclamation of pain, then landed in an undignified heap.

Uther heaved himself up off the floor, grimacing and clutching his back, and opened his mouth to protest. However, when his lips moved no sound came out. He tried again, his face turning slowly redder, his fists balled. Morgana also stood up and tried to speak, but was as mute as her king.

"Sit down, don't argue and I'll remove the spell," Lilly said, her voice level and indifferent, showing none of the amusement the young men felt.

Uther and Morgana both glared at Lilly and then at each other before sitting down on the plush fur rug. Lilly released them both from the spell then walked round to the head of the circle. Whereas a moment ago she had appeared to be exuding energy, Lilly now seemed to be tired and drained.

"I hope that, at least for some of you, my story has horrified you. These attacks have happened many times and on many peoples, not just my own. This will be my first lesson. It is dark now and we are all weary. I will send some food to you in several hours. Sleep on my words…and do not fight." She vanished again within a spiral of golden wind.

**~X~X~X~X~X~**

Merlin was now sat next to Morgana in the ring, trying to ignore the concerned looks she kept giving him. All he could think about was the terrible slaughter that Uther had mercilessly ordered. This was a king that Merlin had protected - he had even been called a loyal servant to the crown. He felt like a traitor to his own kind. How many more attacks had there been like this while he had been Arthur's servant. Had he simply not noticed? This caused him another, even more awful, thought. Had Arthur ever been involved in these attacks?

Merlin felt sickened. A feeling akin to dread roiled in his stomach. It made him want to run and scream and fight just to escape from it. His hands curled into fists and he suddenly couldn't think, couldn't breathe the sensation was so intense. His jaw clenched and he shakily dropped his face into his palms.

Merlin jumped and raised his head as he felt a warm pressure on his arm. Morgana had her hand still reaching out towards him, her eyes wide in shock at his startled reaction. Merlin met her gaze and silently implored her to understand. The depth in his normally carefree eyes latched onto her soul and she could almost feel herself drowning in their black pupils.

"It's alright, I don't want to know; we all have secrets." She whispered with the despair of her own secret dripping from her lips. Merlin lowered his eyes to the floor and Morgana tentatively touched his shoulder again. This time he leaned in to her comfort.

**~X~X~X~X~X~**

True to her word, Lilly had sent a simple but filling meal of bread and stew for them a few hours after she had left. Uther had, of course, turned his nose up at it and was now sitting by the fire on a self-enforced hunger strike. Arthur, surprisingly, had made no comment and was now eagerly eating the stew. Although it was unlike Arthur the resist food, Merlin surmised.

Merlin watched Arthur as he ate, barely touching his own food and when he had finished took Arthur's bowl back to where it had first materialised. It disappeared.

"Merlin, what the hell is wrong with you?" Arthur's voice broke through his reverie. "All you have done all evening is mope about and be a good servant!"

Arthur leaned in closer, "I need you to get your strength up, I'm going to try to climb out of the window and find a way to escape."

That got Merlin's attention. His head shoot up and he stared at Arthur incredulously.

"You're what? Are you mad?"

Arthur shook his head.

"How do we know that the kingdom is not being attacked whilst the elf keeps us here? I will not sit and do nothing while she toys with us!" Arthur's voice rose, he hushed himself quickly.

"Why are you not discussing this with the king?" Merlin hissed back. Arthur inclined his head slightly.

"While we are here my father cannot think rationally, we must do this on our own to prevent him from doing something irrational."

"We?" Merlin's voice rose higher. "What makes you think that I want to be involved in this? Lilly is in control of everything in this room; I doubt you will find a way out"

"I just want to try the window!" Arthur argued back.

"Well go and try the window, go on, don't let me stop you!" Merlin could feel an irrational anger aimed at the Pendragons working its way to the surface. He was losing control. His nerves, the slaughter he had just witnessed and the constant reminder that he was in the service of the 'enemy' was becoming too much. He suddenly felt too weakened to move. He could feel Arthur's eyes staring.

"I'm sorry sire, I will help you," He conceded eventually. A voice within his mind spat insults and taunts of betrayal but he was so tired. Tired of hiding, tired of not knowing his own loyalties, tired of saving Arthur, tired of being Emrys.

"I will rest now, at your leave sire," Merlin said softly, bowing and ignoring Arthur's stunned expression.

**~X~X~X~X~X~**

The night was silent. Sleeping bodies lay sporadically around the fire, covered in any cloth they could find. Even the storm had stilled. Merlin lay on his side, staring at the fire. It was peaceful. He could stay here, he decided, in the quiet and the warmth. In this room, with no one else awake he could think clearly. He knew that the anticipation was slowly killing him, the constant threat of being discovered, and he felt disgusted at his cowardice.

But now he could think.

He knew that Arthur would never find a way out unless Lilly let them leave, that much was obvious. He would humour Arthur for now but his main concern was the way Lilly was hanging his secret over his head. She's dangerous.

**A/N Thanks for reading! Please review.**


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